Ten Tales from the iPod
by Grammar Maven
Summary: My response to the iPod challenge. The rating is for language.


**This is my response to the recently popular iPod challenge. It's my first _In Plain Sight_ post. I was inspired by sfchemist and kathiann, but they are not at all to blame for this.**

**The usual disclaimers apply, namely, 1) if I owned anything regarding _In Plain Sight_, would I feel the need to write fanfic; and, of course, the perennial 2) please don't sue me because my material assets include…uh…me, 2 cats, and a car with a malfunctioning alarm.**

**SPOILERS: Everything that's aired thus far (i.e., through "Don't Cry for Me Albuquerque").**

**As a side note, I don't write fanfic and post anymore because twice in the past when I've done so a beloved kitty has gotten sick and died. So I post this and say this superstition is now broken and has no power.**

* * *

**TEN TALES FROM THE iPOD**

**1) 2001 Theme**

She slowly stretches as she ponders how the new day will probably take her to places she's sure she doesn't want to go. All she can think of is one word: COFFEE.

**2) Sorry – Pushmonkey**

As she looks at Raph in her bed, Mary wonders why she's attracted to pussy men. Seriously. Why does she have to wear the dick in her relationships?

She didn't wake up thinking this was the day she was going to kick Raph's ass to the door, but something in her snapped as she was shoving his ring into her pocket.

With determination fueling her, she grabs his duffle and clothes from the closet and starts cramming his shit into the bag. The noise jostles Raph out of his sleep.

"Mary, what the hell?"

"I'm done, Raph."

**3) Merry Christmas, Alabama – Jimmy Buffett**

Another fucking Christmas. Marshall's all giddy. He loves this shit. But me? It's just another way to rub salt into my I-have-a-shitty-family wound. I hate Christmas.

I must be scowling pretty heavily because Marshall looks at me questioningly and says, "Mare?"

"I'm fine, Marshall."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Why the melancholy?"

How do I tell my partner I don't want him to go home for the holidays? He's the only thing that keeps me from taking my gun out and shooting people on a good day. And now he's going to be gone for Christmas. Gone for this alleged season of peace and magic and light. What am I going to do without him? And when the hell did I get so freaking co-dependent on him?

Fuck this.

Eleanor tells me I should appreciate my family more. It probably looks that way on the outside. But I'm stuck in a shithole house with a fiancé I don't really love, an alcoholic mother—excuse me, a recovering alcoholic mother—who could crack any time, and a slightly miserable sister whose rich boyfriend promised to take her to Grand Cayman but didn't because of year-end car sales. What the hell is there to appreciate?

"Mary?"

I look at Marshall. He's waiting for an answer. I can't tell him I'm sad because the holes in my walls match the holes in my heart. So instead I shrug and say, "'Tis the season."

**4) Blackbird – Sarah MacLachlan**

"Let's go," Marshall says as he tosses an airline ticket voucher at her.

"Marshall, what the fuck?" Mary drops her bridal bouquet to catch the ticket.

"I've been silent long enough, Mare. This is it. It's me or it's him. If you don't choose me, everything goes back the way it was before today. If you do choose me, we're off to Montserrat."

"Marshall…."

"Stop. It doesn't matter who you choose. I just wanted to let you know you have a choice."

Their eyes meet, and she smiles the naughty smile of a kid about to take pleasure in misbehaving. She rips off the tacky veil Brandi talked her into wearing, kicks the bouquet into the corner, grabs her partner's hand, and runs out the door.

**5) Kind of Perfect – Moodswing**

Since Mary's come home from the hospital, she and Marshall have taken to sitting on the back porch of the house staring at the pool.

They talk a lot. None of us know what about. But they do look really comfortable out there. Comfortable and peaceful. It's odd seeing Mary so at ease.

When this first started three weeks ago, their chairs were a couple of feet apart. Now their chairs are nearly touching.

I see it; Mom sees it. Raph saw it, too. Two nights ago, he shook his head, packed his stuff, and moved out. I don't think this has phased Mary, although I'm sure it's given her and Marshall more to talk about.

I open the door to tell them dinner's ready, and then I hear it: "There's never been a point I didn't love you."

I quietly close the door.

**6) Nobody Knows My Name – Rickie Lee Jones**

"Do you ever think about what it's gotta be like for our witnesses?"

"What?" Marshall's not sure what's prompted Mary's question.

"Charles Cotesworth Pinckney IV. That's some kind of name. And he has to give it up. It's a name that has family history. It's one of the names that founded this nation."

"Your point?"

"I know we preach MOU's all day long, have for years, and we're true believers in the program. But when a guy comes through with a name like this…we're asking this guy to give up his history and a piece our country's history. Have you ever just stopped and pondered, for one infinitesimal minute, what we really ask our witnesses to give up?"

"All the time, Mare. All the time."

**7) Act of Faith – Rick Springfield**

Marshall Mann is secretly devout. He doesn't let anyone know this, especially his partner, because he doesn't want to be harassed. But he suspects Mary's secretly devout, too. Hers just isn't an organized religion.

After finding a sympathetic nurse to lead him to Mary's bedside, Marshall gently places his partner's hand into his own and bows his head, asking all the saints and guardian angels to save this incredible, passionate, loving, dedicated, brave woman.

He repeats every prayer of healing and miracles he can remember, no matter the religion, then he whispers into his partner's ear.

"Mare? I know you're a bit busy, but I wanted to let you know I have faith in you. I know you can fight this, so stop fucking around and get it done. I need you. Who else is going to kick my nerdy ass when I need it?"

Marshall feels the pressure of a squeeze on his hand before he sees Mary's eyelids open.

Most of all, Marshall Mann believes in the power of Mary to be Mary.

**8) Someday Baby – Bob Dylan**

"Raph, here's the thing. I love you, but I really don't like you. I don't know if that makes sense. I've been thinking about it, and I realize that it all comes down to respect. I don't like you because I don't respect you. You're a car salesman, for Christ's sake. What the hell?"

"So you respected me when I was a baseball player?"

"Yes. No. Fuck, Raph, I don't know. It doesn't have anything to do with your job. It's just all about the way you handle a crisis. You go to the bigs, so what do you do? You propose when it's completely inappropriate. You blow your knee, and what happens? You come back here and cheat on me with Fat Judy and nearly cheat on me with my sister. Then you decide to retire, and the next thing I know your mom is in my kitchen cooking an engagement goat. So we get engaged, and you start freaking out about my job."

"But Mary, a man and woman should share things…."

"Really, Raph? Really? This is your big defense? I just told you I don't respect you, and this is all you got?"

"Mary…."

"Save it, Raph. We're done."

**9) Aspenglow – John Denver**

Snow. To me, it means getting out the chains for the tires. People think of Albuquerque as a desert, but it's in the fucking mountains. I've never contemplated snow much other than to think of the pain-in-the-ass inconvenience it is.

Things have changed tonight, however. Stuck with Marshall in this Aspen ski lodge, I'm beginning to think of snow in a different way.

Today we made snow angels. And had a snowball fight. Marshall's like a little kid in the snow, and I smile thinking about how he made me shriek like a girl when he dumped snow down the back of my shirt.

As my partner makes his way to me with the hot buttered rum he promised as amends, I decide I love snow.

**10) Hula Girl at Heart – Jimmy Buffett**

People don't understand my Mary. They think she's a hard-ass bitch, but she's really the most sensitive person I know. That hardened exterior is just a façade for the most fragile of hearts. It's been broken so many times that there's only one tiny unbroken piece left. That's my piece. I promised her, in a dusty storefront a while back, I would never break it. It's a promise I intend to keep.

"What do you want, Marsh?"

I pause for a second and look at her standing impatiently at the coffee counter. She loves her complicated coffee beverages, and I love her. For a second, with the counter lights backlighting her hair, I'm transported to another dimension where I see Mary wearing a brightly colored floral sarong, exotic flower tucked behind my exotic animal's ear.

"What the hell's wrong with you? We're holding up the line," Mary says as she slugs me in the shoulder.

I smile and tell her I'll take whatever she's having. She turns to order, and I watch her back.

_FIN_


End file.
